Make baggage your bitch: Top 3 things you can do to liberate yourself from yourself

Most of us have stuff in our minds that keeps us from having the lives we want.

Many of us wish we had a different relationship with partners, family, and friends.

And a lot of us want something new in our lives regarding our career, how much we travel, or what we do for fun.

We want something different, but often, can’t pinpoint the problem.

Well, there are two reasons:

1) You’re blind to the sneaky thoughts you have about yourself.

2) You’re blind to the snarky voice in your head that warns you about “what everyone will say.”

You unknowingly hold yourself back.

It’s totally normal.

But you can start seeing clearly by doing this short exercise!

So grab a pen and some paper! And get started on your happy ending.

The three questions:

Question 1: Think of a current problem. Pick something you want to do but aren’t doing. Or, think of something you are doing, but don’t want to.

It could be related to your relationship, career, or stuff going on with family and friends.

(People often write things like, “I want to be open with my partner, but I’m not,” “I don’t want to hang out with certain people, but I am,” and “I want to apply for a new job, but I’m not.”)

I want to ________________________________________________, but I’m not.

or

I don’t want to _____________________________________________, but I am.

Question 2: If you could wave a magic wand and change this situation easily, what would you be doing or not doing instead?

I’m no longer _______________________________________________, instead

I’m _____________________________________________________________.

Describe the new scenario in more detail. What does the situation look like after your wand changed things?

(People often write things like “I’m no longer spending every Sunday afternoon at my in-laws, instead I let my husband go with the kids and I take a nap and do yoga instead,” or “I no longer work at the same place, instead I work for ……”)

Question 3: Write down the stuff that comes up in your mind when you think about changing the current situation by yourself (you don’t have a wand).

Write down all the good reasons not to change things.

(People often write things like “It would be selfish,” “Everyone would be upset,” “That’s not how I was raised,” “It’s too hard,” and “People would think I was nuts.”)

Finally, look at what you just wrote. Some of it is keeping you in the dark.

Two things:

You believe many of these things down to your core. And they’re keeping you from having what you really want because they remain unquestioned. For example, “It would be selfish.”

Really? Why?

Maybe it’s time to question things you think are unquestionable.

Maybe it’s time to get rid of some of the baggage that’s holding you back.

Maybe it’s time to get on the road to your happy ending.