I recently had a brain-bending chat.

A coach I’d just met said I have emotional baggage about being visible.

At first, that did not compute.

I have blurple hair. I’m loud and opinionated. I have a picture in my office that says “Down with the Patriarchy.” I used to be a model. My dream was to be an MTV VJ, back in the day. I had my own radio show for years.

And I talk about lots of vulnerable stuff in emails and blogs.

In fact, the last thing anyone would say about me is that I’m a shrinking violet.

So, I’m afraid of being visible? I wondered what she was seeing that I wasn’t.

So, I got off the call and thought about it.

And then it hit me. Damn! She’s right.

I started finding all kinds of ideas that have been part of my psyche for decades.

Things you believe because you’ve thought them for so long. Ideas you don’t question. Beliefs at your core. Things that seem real and obvious.

So obvious you don’t notice them anymore. Like a billboard you no longer see because you’ve driven past it so many times.

I uncovered ideas like, “Don’t draw attention to yourself. You’re supposed to be humble. Being too visible means you’re conceited and braggy. Don’t get too big for your britches.”

And when I talked to a friend about it, she said she was warned against “vain glory.”

Holy moly!

Lots of ideas have been traveling through life with me, without much awareness on my part. And they’re simply messages I picked up while living my life, starting in childhood.

And I know I’m not the only woman who absorbed this stuff. The stuff that holds us back from doing what we’re here to do.

So, I will become visible to myself and others.

And I know you can do it too!

You certainly can figure out what’s holding you back from living the way you want.

You certainly can become visible to yourself. You are capable of uncovering lots of background noise.

It’s time to liberate yourself from yourself.