What is success?
making a certain amount of money.
hiking all of the Appalachian Trail.
feeling connected to your partner.
losing 30 pounds.
speaking in public.
leaving a relationship.
As you can see, “success” doesn’t have a clear definition. It depends on who you are and what you value.
For me, it looks like:
feeling connected to my partner, kids, family, and friends
traveling, concerts, plays
a thriving business that helps people create better lives
meeting new people
hikes and workouts
I think I have a successful life. A friend recently said I’m able to turn chicken shit into chicken salad. I agree.
But, on the road from chicken shit to chicken salad, I had to figure some things out.
For example, success meant getting remarried because of the trust I had to build with myself along the way. Getting married meant I’d turned chicken shit, a horrible divorce, into chicken salad — a happy marriage.
It also means hiking and working out.
So, I had to turn chicken shit — having a heart attack and open-heart surgery — into chicken salad — long hikes and hard workouts. I had to move from fear to safety, step-by-step.
Just because my doctors said I was “fine” didn’t mean my mind agreed. My mind came up with all kinds of ideas that caused me to worry. What if I had another heart attack while I was hiking a mile from civilization or my heart exploded during Zumba class?!
I’m sure you’re just like me. Your brain comes up with all sorts of ideas to keep you afraid, stuck, and worried.
So, just like I went step-by-step physically until I could do really hard work-outs, my mind had to take it step-by-step to feel safe again.
Same with going from divorce to remarriage, my mind had to change, step-by-step.
It doesn’t matter what you want to do, my guess is you need some help to get to the new place.
I know because I need help too. I have my own coach.
Coaching helps people get from point A to point B before trying to get to point Z.
So take a minute to think about what a successful life looks like to you. Then, decide if you want to move toward that, step-by-step.
What you’ll discover along the journey is so worth it. You may find that the success you wanted looks different when you get there.